...isn't really one. It's Haruhikage, and even though it was written (canonically) before MyGO was even formed, it's the most emblematic of their thesis of a band. In fact, that may be exactly why i feel that way. Which is weird, right ? Why would the band formed for each of its members to move forward with their lives be most represented by a song from their past... But it's easily the most emotional song in a show that taught me how to feel severe emotions again, even for their own sake, so there has to be something there. i'll be honest, more than anything, i was just confused why i cried literally every time it came on shuffle. Being me, i started by looking at the lyrics.
"In all the world, i was alone/All i knew of spring was falling petals". With no one by her, the sole meaning of coming back from winter is the impermance of it all. As far as she can see. And that would make sense; there's no one she needs to try and understand better. But there's still this sense of being uniquely severed from the chance. Of everyone in all the world, she is alone in this understanding, of spring sunlight as its shadows. Especially when, as Tomori understands it, trying to change it just broke up Crychic and hurt everyone. It would appear that the world is telling her to go back to being alone.
At least, those words were pourous to the stain of growing jaded. As written, they were about a hope to become human at that time, with those people:
"In the world revealed to me in that light were people dear to me, in full bloom. I've learned that spring is warm and so i shed tears for me and for you "
They were originally about the only thing she's known being loneliness, and that loneliness fading away for what felt like forever. That idea will always be potent for me. i think of the effect an honestly somewhat bare minimum of love had on me, even years after it left; rather, how it felt like a brief blip in a dark natural order pressing on me like the water at the bottom of the ocean. an irregular and unnatural blinding light that when against the fact of force, pushed back against the water, and was summarily snuffed out.
But... well, it's hard to say this, because what we hear of Crychic's music is very good. But they probably wouldn't be able to become themselves as musicians together, never truly shine as they do forming separate bands. Tomori is, as a vocalist and songwriter, "heartrending in (her) sincerity". She needs two guitars to convey her words, her delivery, and the overwhelming emotion behind both. Saki as a keyboardist muddled the group's "rock" with theatrics that deserve to soar in the center of their own world. That band, Crychic, would never be able to be what Tomori (or any of them) needed, even though their version of the song is moving in its own right.
As performed by MyGO... The band is named for each members' time to move forward after being lost. Without Saki's twinkly, melancholic piano, we get that comforting melody roughly shredded on the tough metal of guitar chords. i love how sensorily Tomori wrote about the experience of breaking into tears without noticing. It shows more in my fiction, but i've been told i use a lot of similarly sensory techniques in my writing–i always chalked it up to autism and to have that reflected in one of the most deliberate depictions of autism in anime is really, really neat.
Here specifically, it's brilliantly investing. The lyrics and performance drag me back into the raw emotion i felt at the first note, pulling open the old and aching wound of nostalgia. You can hear the tears as Tomori's seiyuu Youmiya Hina breaks into a scream for those lines: "burning, burning, wetting my skin"–so suddenly, too, and that heat really is the first thing you notice. And if you're me you remember crying at the first note–how i didn't notice–why i didnt–what else, i, alone in all the world, am not noticing–and its just way way too much.
i love this song so much and i will always love MyGO, and my dear ones in bloom, so so much for teaching me that spring is warm.