Simple and clean concept this week. Here are three of my favorite quotes and why they mean so much to me. Honestly this might as well be a mission statement for my blog.
This is from the Japanese box art for Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and it's probably motivated me more than anything else in life. Growing up, i always really liked Sonic X, but as i got a little older, i fell off with it, and as i got more online it quickly was built up as something untouchably cringe in my mind. That category of "unspeakably cringe" grew until i couldn't take faking the disdain for its contents, inevitably joined them, and was left somewhat empty. Not even in a satisfying way. Growing old and disillusioned was... not even my goal, but something i understood to be an inevitability, so i thought i was just ripping the bandaid off. It frustrated me, the loop i'd just closed. It was years of my fleeting life completing the shape of a divine zero and more than anything, i needed to never do that again.
So my first step was to fill in the gaps of all my knowledge. Playing the old games, watching through Sonic X.... actually, i wanted to know about all the stuff i thought was cool growing up, but never got into. i wanted to play games that looked like Sonic 06's opening cutscenes, so i played Final Fantasy X and fell in love. Persona 5 gave me the push to devote my days to anime, but even before that–i wanted to watch shows that looked like Sonic X, so i started watching a bunch of 2000's anime and fell in love with series like Clannad and Code Geass. It just made me want to expand my knowledge about these spheres–anime, games, character goods– more. One day i was watching a video about old Sonic plushies and that quote hit me. "It's the only way to live a life without regrets." i'd already wasted so much precious time, made so many mistakes. But now i do have something i truly want to do. At that time, i really didn't think i could survive any more pain, so i needed to know. Is it really possible, even for me, to live a life without regrets ?
No, it isn't. But it doesn't have to be. My life and memories will always be laden with . So, so many... sometimes it feels like i'll break under their weight. But if i hadn't felt like i couldn't take any more tragedy without shattering, the urgency in those words wouldn't have reached me as strongly. If i weren't so lost, i wouldn't have a drive to seek out that beauty. Being so far from stories i truly loved made it all the sweeter when i found them again, even as i absolutely regret the time i spent doing nothing. Everything i wish i could change happened as it did. i'm still here regardless and i don't hate that if i do say so myself. If nothing else, my fate produced my determination. So mine won't be a life without regrets. It's more than likely too late for that entirely, no matter how i look at it or try to change it. But all of me, regrets and all, can still move forward happily. "Even as the lost!" MyGo would fucking love Shadow the hedgehog, dude.
The quote that is my website title ! i swear i've talked about this one a thousand times. i'm still reading Higurashi, not to Umineko yet, so sincerely, excuse me if this reads as a larp. But ever since i first saw people talk about these words, they've captured my fascination. They're sharply literary, almost lyrical in a way very little of the blunt, on-the-head summer-punk-kid earnesty that makes Higurashi so great. This one in particular has been sort of a puzzle box of a quotation for me; it ultimately means something like "love is the motivation to understand better, to care to look closely enough and see every detail you can." i really try to demonstrate that with everything i write. i'm not really sure how much it can be called "analysis" anymore, but it comes from that spirit. Writing about a show is a really nice way for me to make sure i'm taking a properly close look at it.
Thanks for bearing with me. More than most of my posts this has been for myself–i've been sick for the week since my last and needed motivation to get back into the swing of things. While i was resting i wrote down a ton of ideas for posts, so look forward to that !! Bye luckies !!